Biz Building + Marriage
And keeping that spark alive...
This past weekend my husband and I celebrated 5 years of marriage!
As I sit here looking back on these past 5 years, I am so thankful for the things the Lord has done in my life! A wonderful husband, a beautiful baby boy, being able to spend my time pouring into what I love, and sharing my gifts with other ladies while having the freedom to create my own schedule (and can I just say right here and now that this past week I started work at 11:00am every single day just because I wanted to… DREAM COME TRUE!).
I can’t even tell you how fortunate I am to be married to my biggest fan and best friend. SERIOUSLY. He supports me 100% and I’m going to share something a bit personal with you today. I hope he’s ok with it… haha! But this is a segment of a letter that Steven wrote to me on the last day of my corporate job that I now have framed above my desk…
“Sandra, I can’t begin to express how proud I am of you for taking this step into a new career and new life. You are putting dreams into motion and boldly setting an example for women everywhere. You have the skills and ambition to make this as big as you want, and I am excited to be taking this adventure with you. We are going to hit roadblocks and hard times, but I am with you 100% and you have my support.
A new candle may seem like a lame gift, but for one thing, I think you’ll love the scent. And secondly, it represents a fresh start. This candle has never been burned and comes with no imperfections or uneven wax. As it burns, unevenness will come and smoke residue will begin to show, but such is the consequence of being a light.
You are a light. You will burn. You will also get burned. But I love you and will be with you through it all. You’re my favorite person in the world and no one can hold a candle to you…”
So, what have I learned over the last year of building a business while continuing to maintain a thriving marriage??
1. Stop to give thanks...
I have so many friends in this online business space who are not supported or championed by their husbands and that is a REALLY hard place to be in. Business building and marriage building often seem to contradict one another. So, if you do have a supportive husband, tell him “thank you” and don’t take it for granted! Do something to show him that you appreciate him and his support today!
Also while you're at it, it's a great idea to thank the Lord for the amazing things he's placed in your life. Writing down all the things I'm thankful for is a great way to center myself and one of my favorite ways to start or end a day.
2. REALLY take time for your husband and family...
I know the idea of working non-stop now for a business that allows you to have more freedom later may seem great… but the truth is that none of us know how much time we actually have on this earth.
Make sure to take time to nurture those relationships NOW instead of constantly working for "someday"… because that day may never arrive. Make time for those date nights. Make time for family time. Make time for fun. It has to be non-negotiable if you want to maintain a happy and healthy marriage while building a business.
3. Realize that there will be bumps (maybe even BIG bumps) but they will pass.
We have had our fair share of tough times. I’ve pulled all-nighters to meet deadlines. There was a period of a couple months where Steven watched Corbin after getting home from work every single night of the week, so I could work on my business (pre-daycare… thank goodness for wonderful people to love on our littles while we work, right?!). And we’ve also had times of feast and famine in our finances thanks to my business.
Bottom line: we’ve had some seasons during the past 5 years where things were really hard, but we didn’t give up. Eventually the hard times will pass if you just. keep. going.
4. Create a schedule that works for BOTH of you.
It’s easy to become a workaholic. It’s easy to work crazy hours before you have childcare and you’re juggling staying home with kids and starting a business. But the beauty of starting your own business is that you can create a schedule that works for you. You can create it however you want!… and your husband, as your partner in life, should also be a part of this schedule-creating-process.
Maybe that means you find creative ways to save time (buying pre-prepped foods, hiring a house cleaner, and other tips found in this post: "how to work from home with a baby"). Maybe that means you hire a virtual assistant to help you with business tasks to free up some time for your family. Maybe that means you intentionally set aside some time each week where you and your husband have 100% alone time (NO BUSINESS) after the kids go to bed. Maybe this means scheduling one family outing per month IN PEN on your wall calendar. Make these things non-negotiable!
Talk this over with him and start working things like this into your schedule right now. This will do WONDERS for your own sanity and for your marriage.
“Women who know they are relentlessly loved can change the world.”
My husband does a really great job of showing me relentless love, but he could never even come close to God’s relentless love for each and every one of us. Today you can step into that relentless love and KNOW that you are loved beyond measure.
How would that change your life and your business? To know that you are loved in that way… That no matter what you did (or have ever done) you could never mess up too much to leave the banner of that unconditional love… To know that no matter what your marriage looks like… you are still relentlessly loved.
I too believe that women picking up the banner of relentless love and truly walking in it can change the world.
Always cheering you on,